So it has been officially 2 weeks since my ex-husband has moved to South Carolina. I am officially feeling the pressure of not having every other weekend and 2 days off during the week when it was him time with our daughter.
It may be wrong to say…but I miss my “me time.” It gave me a chance to run errands, shop, read and just spend time hanging out without the constant “MOMMY, mommy, mommy.” I was able to regroup and get ready for the following week. Now I am trying to re-adjust and it is HARD!
I have to say that after my divorce my ex and I realized that we were both selfish, young and just didn’t understand each other while we were married. Now I am happy to say we are great friends.
Our main goal is parenting our daughter together and he is a great father and I am very thankful for that. Many women don’t have the support from their ex’s which makes it tougher. There is one lady that I work with who’s ex decided to sign his rights away. She maintained a home, job, raising a 6 year old and then had the nerve to get a dog to add to the mix of responsibilities. She kept her head held high and never looked back. She is my inspiration. If she can do it literally all on her own...then so can I.
Now that he is gone (I fully supported his decision to move for work) the pressure is getting to me. Granted I do have family around, but I don’t want to feel like a burden. I am trying to do this work/life balance thing….which is my mind is a load of crap! No such thing! Corporate America wants to put on the front of understanding family life, but in reality they want you to work late, come in early and get the job done and aren’t trying to hear the excuses. Thank god I have work from home capabilities because without it, I wouldn’t know what to do.
So I am sure you are wondering why I agreed to this decision. Well the truth of the matter is that he made many sacrifices when we were together. My pregnancy was rough, I was on bed rest and constant pain. He was there every step of the way. No matter how many times I had to get up and pee at night he never complained. He was wake up and carry me to the bathroom. When I suffered from post-partum after my daughter was born. He took care of her and me. He was always supportive when it mattered most.
So who am I to tell him no he can’t move. It was a great opportunity and I didn’t want to be the reason for him not to take the job. he talks to my daughter almost every other day on the phone. We are also trying to get web cameras set up so they can see each other. We are friends on Facebook so he sees any pictures of her that I upload.
Old me would have said no. But when you have been through as much as I have in a life time, you put things into perspective and you start to be more understanding and supportive of those who care.
I am really going to have to reassess my time, my energy and focus in order to pull all this shit together and make it successful. Secretly I wish that my ex changes his mind and moves back to CT.
I have to keep telling myself…..”YOU CAN DO THIS!”