Jenelle's bookshelf: read

The Story That Must Be Told: True Tales of Transformation, Vol. I Writers on the Edge Hungry Girl: Recipes and Survival Strategies for Guilt-Free Eating in the Real World Armageddon: The Cosmic Battle of the Ages The Remnant The Mark

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Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Lessons Learned as a Parent



 Lessons Learned as a Parent

My daughter is only 4 years old…but going on 21. There is no manual for child rearing. We are throw into the fire and it is sink or swim. Learning to maneuver the parenting world is challenging but rewarding at the same time. It really is trial and error. Learning from other parents about what works and what doesn’t work. It is challenging but someone has to do it!  Here are a few lessons learned along the way.  Hopefully you will share your “lessons learned”  as well.


My daughter is only 4 years old…but going on 21. There is no manual for child rearing. We are throw into the fire and it is sink or swim. Learning to maneuver the parenting world is challenging but rewarding at the same time. It really is trial and error. Learning from other parents about what works and what doesn’t work. It is challenging but someone has to do it!  Here are a few lessons learned along the way.  Hopefully you will share your “lessons learned”  as well.

1.       Pick your battles! Something are worth arguing about and other things…just let it go.
a.      Sometimes you just have to walk away from the situation.. I've learned that sometimes I should just step back take a minute and calm down. Then I go back and address the situation. Nobody wins if we're just yelling at each other. Remember: kids will always push our buttons and sometimes we need to know when to “tap out” and regroup in order to regain control of the situation.
b.      If you child is independent, then let them be independent. Yes, this will cause for a delay from time to time, when they think they can “tie their shoes by themselves, or get dressed by themselves” but in the end they will come to you for help.  Smile inside and realize that they are still learning and still need you.
2.       Never say Never… in other words NEVER say “my kid would never…”
a.      …. my kid will never eat candy  or  my kid will never eat fast food, or my kids will never curse or my kid would never be disrespectful . As children grow up and begin to experience life and the world outside of our homes, they will begin to pick up habits and interests that we never thought would be possible. Some good and some bad. Remember: it is our job as parents to continue to institute right and wrong in our children and instill the values and morals that we want them to have.
3.       Kids follow our lead
a.      If you want your child to be polite. Then show them what is like to be polite to others. If you child constantly witness you yelling and screaming at others…then will do the same.  We can’t expect our children to say “please and thank you” if we are not saying those things ourselves. Remember:  Behaviors are learned and our children look up to us, so we must set examples all times.  Children are always watching whether we know it or not.
4.       Stay Consistent
a.      This is Key. Kids need consistency and boundaries. If you don’t have those things, then you give up your leverage as a parent. If you say you are going to “take something away if they don’t listen” then TAKE IT AWAY!  If you are not consistent children will not take you seriously and they will continue to do what they want when they want because they know nothing is going to happen.  Tip: explain what consequences are and follow through on that explanation. When you take away something or do allow them to do something (watch t.v. or go outside) tell them that this is a consequence of their behavior and that if they would listen to mommy and/or daddy then there would not be consequences.

5.       Take time for yourself.
a.      Parenting never stops.  It is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week job.  Take some time for yourself to regroup and recharge. It doesn’t matter if it’s getting up earlier in the morning to have quiet time before the day starts. Going to get a massage.
Girls/Guys night out. Whatever the case may be. It’s okay to take time out for yourself.  Remember: Happy and less stressed parents make better focused parents
6.       Patience
a.      No parent has the patience all the time. But it is something that we must be aware of and work on daily.  Children are children and they are learning and growing every day. It is our job to teach and help them understand the world around them. Remember:  All children are different and we must try and understand our children and their needs and figure out the best way to handle and resolve situations that may come our way. Don’t react in anger! Instead....React in Love!




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